I opened my eyes and realized I was on my back looking at the ceiling of an ambulance. (What happened and why am I in here? And why does my head hurt?) The last memory I had was also of being on my back, but on the floor of my home at the foot of the stairs, with strange faces hovering over me, and several times one man asking me how many fingers he was holding up. (Two, of course – why is he asking me that?)
Later, waking up again, vision hazy, but seeing familiar beloved faces of my two children, my husband, my sister – all gathered around trying to smile but looking concerned. Gently they told me that I had fallen down the stairs, broken my right collarbone, and crashed the right side of my head into the banister, which caused a blood clot on my brain – a “subdural hematoma,” they explained. (Hey, I know that word from my medical transcription work….) So I had just come out of emergency craniotomy surgery to relieve the pressure and save my life. It was January 18, 2011.
What’s my story?
I was like Harry Potter and was “The Girl Who Lived.” My life had been spared miraculously and I was open to discover what my purpose was now.
And yet, just a few weeks later, after my adventure at the Head Trauma Unit of Brackenridge Hospital, I had gradually recovered enough to return to my job as the Business Manager of my church, only to be given the news that they were replacing me with someone else. (What?) March 31, 2011.
What’s my story?
Have you been hit hard by something and you wonder what to make of it and how to move past it? Are you searching for purpose or direction for your life? Are wounds and scars and pain from your past holding you back?
When we go through something painful, often we ask questions like, “Why did this have to happen?” or “Why do these bad things always happen to me?” or “Where is God?”
Or maybe you find yourself tormented with questions like these – “If only that hadn’t happened to me, how much better would my life be right now?” or “If only I hadn’t made that choice…. that mistake…. gone down that path… is my life ruined forever now?"
Linda Dillow in her book, Calm My Anxious Heart, calls these questions the “If Onlys” and warns that we can get really stuck when we keep our focus on the past and our regrets.
I can only imagine that most of the prisoners of the Auschwitz Nazi concentration camp were asking questions like all of these. Oh, the unbelievable suffering they experienced…. And yet, here is what one former prisoner tells us ~
I know that the experiences of our lives, when we let God use them, become the mysterious and perfect preparation for the work He will give us to do. ~ Corrie Ten Boom
She discovered the best question to ask when life hits hard ~ What’s my story?
In other words, am I ruined by that painful event or can I let that very experience be what makes me strong and even propels me into my purpose in life?
So part of my story began decades earlier when I was around 12 years old and felt a dream begin, actually a calling, to go to seminary and work in Christian ministry in some way. Years later I graduated from the University of Texas with a degree in psychology but ended up not going to seminary, and spent the next season of life being a wife and Mom. Many times during those years, however, I struggled with regret that I didn’t follow through with my plan – was battered by some “If Onlys,” and sometimes questioned what my purpose was now. It seemed I had missed my chance to follow my dream….
And yet…. because of my fall and job loss, I had a time of searching, praying, wondering and reassessing my direction in life. And I continued to ask the question, what’s my story?
Until one day I knew.
It was time. For my dream, my calling, my plan – actually God’s plan. So on August 9, 2011, I began another chapter of my story: I was accepted into Seminary of the Southwest and stepped into my journey to become a counselor. What an amazing blessing coming out of two painful life crises.
And God has a way of also giving us little gifts sometimes just to encourage us. One day a couple of years later I was driving to the seminary, feeling burdened by all the demands of my classes and the constant looming of more tuition due. I started praying, asking God to just tell me again what my purpose was…. and right in front of me my prayer was answered!
Thanks to Carpenter Co. for driving by at the perfect time
As a counselor now I totally do want to help bring comfort to your life!
And God knew all along…. When I was 22 and hadn’t been through many hard life experiences, and also thought I had all the answers – God knew I wasn’t ready to be a counselor then. My story finally all made sense.
So whatever you are facing, whatever has hurt you in the past, whatever mistakes you regret, whatever is holding you back….
There is always hope. Your story isn't over yet.
There are good, hopeful chapters yet to be written. Even when it doesn’t feel like it right now. God is God of the impossible - I am a counselor today because of that.
So let’s talk. Contact me and I can walk with you to help find answers to the questions you are asking. And in the meantime, try asking, what's my story? and just see if maybe some things begin to fall into place.
I’m ready to be part of your story.